A Year In Status Updates

So, I'm going to kick off the pre-birthday, introspective blog post series with something I have wanted to do for a while.

How do you know a man? Do you know him for the great days of his life, when all that is heroic or villainous in him swells to meet a point of exceeding potential? Or do you know him for all the little days, the minutia of living every minute and hour as best he can?

As a retrospective of the minutia of my life, here are all of my Facebook updates since March 15th of last year:



03/08
- Devon is listening to songs of death, oppression and lost love, and remembering the brutal history of his people.

- Devon is starting a new mantra of "accept and move on."

- Devon has a delightfully refreshing kick, with a tangy after-taste.

- Devon is attempting to create a work-around past "panic mode."

- Devon finds himself without a status

- Devon requests a "HO!" if you've got your funky bus fare.

- Devon misses pretending to be a real person.

- Devon will be heading to the IKEA labyrinth again, to face off against the Minotaur of excessive consumerism, and to help someone buy a bed.

- Devon thinks the meeting with his accountant went well-ish.

- Devon is having way too much fun cleaning and using his new accounting software.

- Devon had an awesome day yesterday.

- Devon is daydreaming about food.

- Devon thinks that "The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust" is a solid album if you can make it past the first two songs which are terrible.

- Devon is wishing that he had come up with the name "Question Mark & The Mysterios."

- Devon has realized he is in love with the area in which he lives!

- Devon has returned from another successful mission for House Telvanni, after safely escorting his guildmate to Boise.

- Devon is dorking-out in a BIG way.


04/08

- Devon is coming as he is, as he was and as you want him to be.

- Devon is not sure if he's having a break-down or a break-through, but something is going to be broken when he gets done.

- Devon needs Irish music.

- Devon will take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out to a nice seafood dinner and NEVER call her again.

- Devon once again curses George W. Bush, time bandit.

- Devon once again curses George W. Bush for fucking with Time.

- Devon once again curses Microsoft for fucking with so many things.

- Devon says, "Damn that sorcerer! Twenty gold pieces and I'm wankered on Rohypnol."

- Devon thinks that "Intolerable Cruelty" is underrated because of the quality of the rest of the Coen Brother's collected work.

- Devon has no idea what he is going to do today before work.

- Devon is trying so very hard.

- Devon has been reading "Portland On Fire."

- Devon HAS RIDDEN THE MIGHTY MOON WORM!!

- Devon is fucking pumped about the idea of people actually using their minds to make their lives better!

- Devon was born before the wind, also younger than the sun, ere the bonnie boat was won as he sailed into the mystic.

- Devon is fairly excited about "The Fall."

- Devon is CERTIFIABLE! . . . hopefully.

- Devon is going to drink some absinthe and go to the Roller Derby to celebrate.

- Devon is of the opinion.

- Devon is a man among men, a baker among bankers and a porcupine among balloons.

- Devon is adrift.

- Devon will dance with you in Vienna, he'll be wearing a river's disguise. The hyacinth wild on his shoulder, his mouth on the dew of your thighs.

- Devon just dumped a jar of salt, that may or may not have contained an evil spirit, on the lawn of a neighborhood church, confident their god will protect them.

- Devon is a man, is a man . . . is the son of a man.

- Devon is obsessed with finding out who rode past his house on a Bike last night and mentioned his name.

- Devon met you at JC Penny. He thinks your name tag, said Jenny.

- Devon is trying to decide if he is concerned or jealous that Brewster is locked inside the Reel 'Em Inn.

- Devon is fucking angry.

- Devon is talking Revolution, again.

- Devon 's name is Archie Bell, and these are the Drells, and this is the music we tighten up with.


05/08

- Devon has survived a weekend visit from the folks, and is stronger for it, perhaps.

- Devon is deciding between embarking on a month of the most brutal exercise and dietary regiment he has ever experienced, or not doing that.

- Devon knows how Galactus must feel.

- Devon has the same feeling of exhaustion and desire to vomit as after a night of dancing, but none of the delusions of grandeur. Maybe he should exercise drunk.

- Devon is apparently a write-in candidate for Portland Metro Councilor District 3. Thanks, Justin!

- Devon will most likely dream about doing naughty things to a club sandwhich tonight.

- Devon is confused by the release of a new X-Files movie a decade after the show was popular. Also, cast includes Billy Connolly and Exzibit?

- Devon is becoming a fan of Vampire Weekend, even if it is a terrible name.

- Devon can't come up with a reason to get up tomorrow, but he will sleep on that question.

- Devon was being chased by a creepy, old, possibly homeless woman through the streets of dream New York.

- Devon has a trick hip that he doesn't even know about. It's a very subtle trick.

- Devon is once more turning to the Gipsy Kings for strength.

- Devon is gripping Harsh Reality by the buttocks and saying "Baby, you're my forever girl!"

- Devon is gripping Harsh Reality firmly by the buttocks and saying "Baby, you're my forever girl!"

- Devon has a deep, physical need for an onion bagel with lox spread.

- Devon has broken you like a bad habit; will break you like a commandment; has left you broke like M.C. Hammer.

- Devon is the stone that the builder refused . . .

- Devon read the news today, oh boy . . .

- Devon says, "some people, they call me monster. Some people, they call me saint. My talent feeds my darker side, yet no one will complain . . . "

- Devon is extremely excited about seeing Blue Scholars tonight

- Devon is fully licensed, bonded and insured.


06/08

- Devon is still trying to dream the impossible dreams.

- Devon is banking on the likelihood that the "Large Hard-on" Collider is retroactively responsible for beginning life on this planet, like in that episode of Star Trek.

- Devon is watching muted demonstrational videos for the N810 on YouTube and feels dirty, like he's watching nerd-porn.

- Devon wants to be . . . your sledgehammer.

- Devon is having one of those "do a bunch of morphine" kind of days.

- Devon can't.

- Devon is not really surprised that seeing "The Fall" didn't cheer him up yesterday.

- Devon has stayed up too late, again.

- Devon is trying to bring himself to admit that his father can be right sometimes.

- Devon is impressed by the Pub At The End Of The Universe's ability to match music almost perfectly to the subject of the conversation.

- Devon is that kind of old kumquat that would probably fuck a snake . . . and then write a little poem about it.

- Devon is under the impression that the next jacket he purchases should be a light brown duster.

- Devon is relatively certain that materialism just criticalled him for 50.

- Devon is making one heap of all his winnings, and risking it all on one game of pitch & toss, and losing and starting again from his beginnings . . .

- Devon is doing that thing he wasn't going to do anymore.

- Devon is seriously considering presenting on the evils of the banking industry at "Ignite Portland Fall 2008."

- Devon is amazed at how frequently he finds that his personal philosphy matches Einstein's word for word, but pissed off that his thoughts are not original.

- Devon hates waiting, like even for a bus or something, an important phone call . . .

- Devon has decided that his Sith name shall be Darth Weber.

- Devon is gonna take the brown paper, white paper, stick 'em together with the tape, the tape of love.

- Devon is arming himself to begin a holy war against the banking industry.

- Devon is putting various ducks in various rows.

- Devon has gotten too good at the "Stop & Sit" side of life and needs to remember how to do the "Gettup & Go."

- Devon is summoning up the willpower of all the stubborn Irish bastards with the name Barrett that came before him.

- Devon will see "War, Inc." regardless of what anyone says (because John Cusack is dreamy).

- Devon liked what they were going for with "War, Inc." but thought the execution lacked a cohesive direction (John Cusack is still dreamy, though).

- Devon is trying to decide if he should use his morning to do things, write about stuff he has already done, or watch stories about fictional people doing things.

- Devon lifts us up where we belong.


07/08

- Devon is here to sell lubricants, Bob, INDUSTRIAL LUBRICANTS!

- Devon is building manly things with manly tools, manily.

- Devon loves talking to people who are awesome. Conversely, he does not love talking to people who are not awesome.

- Devon has a need growing inside of him. A need for paintball. LONG LIVE THE KNIGHTS OF SEALAND!!

- Devon is excited about a "country fair" for the first time in his life. The two bottles of absinthe may have something to do with that.

- Devon is goin' to the Fair.

- Devon is sad to admit it, but after 3 days at the Oregon Country Fair, he is actually tired of both drinking and breasts.

- Devon sad to admit it, but after 3 days at the Oregon Country Fair, he is actually tired of Fun in it's entirety. Good thing he's going back to work. HUZZAH!

- Devon is celebrating the beautiful violence with which humankind recreates itself by watching "Casablanca" on Bastille Day.

- Devon is a shooting star moving through the sky like a tiger defying the laws of gravity.

- Devon just eureka'd a facet of wu wei that he had never previously grasped, . . . bitches.

- Devon is having fun with tools. TOOLS OF POWER!

- Devon is certain that "The Invisibles" is the best comic book ever written.

- Devon has a full day planned: a shvitz at Loprenzi's, chinese food, The Dark Knight, The Tragedy of Julius Caesar and maybe Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog perhaps?

- Devon is going to do something today . . . but what?

- Devon has been dreaming about Choice Theory and self-propagating patterns again.

- Devon is drunk on the act of creation. HUZZAH!!

- Devon is simultaneously excited and ensaddened about the series finale of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

- Devon just had his face melted by the series finale of Avatar: The Last Airbender, the best vaguely Taoist childrens cartoon ever made.

- Devon is more tired than a tired guy from Tired Town, whose name is Joseph "Sleepy" Rothweiner.

- Devon is officially excited about Fallout 3.

- Devon thinks it's amusing that if you google "Revolution" the first result is "Buy Revolution at $30."

- Devon loves "The Postman" and "Hudson Hawk" and if you don't like it you can meet him in Thunderdome!

- Devon spent tonight playing Battleship in a lesbian bar, and is fairly certain that his life is awesome.

- Devon will have plenty of time to date when he is six feet in the cold, cold ground!

- Devon has great skill in Memory World!!


08/08

- Devon is going to go see "The Wackness" with Ben Kingsley. Ben is buying the popcorn.

- Devon is going to Flugtag, woo!

- Devon is randomly reading through a flame war on the Honda Forum. Why? Why not?

- Devon is looking to get MORE out of his dremel.

- Devon sure can waste a lot of time at a hardware store when he's not paying attention.

- Devon has the grim feeling of satisfaction one gets when one conquers nature with technology. Although, is rust "nature"?

- Devon has got 63 problems . . .

- Devon is willing to admit that naming a computer "Lazarus, who is called Simon" is kinda asking for trouble.

- Devon is willing to admit that the "not going to the store will make me eat the food I have" plan doesn't work, and never has.

- Devon is ruthlessly simplifying his life.

- Devon may or may not be a super villain, but he certainly meets the facial hair prerequisite.

- Devon is going to brunch . . . with a lady.

- Devon has old friends popping out of the woodwork!

- Devon can't believe that Time's gonna heal this wound that he's speaking of . . .

- Devon has seen the marvelous Breadfish, swimming in the ocean waters . . .

- Devon is very glad that Brewster continues to live.

- Devon has over time reversed his position on "Ten New Songs" by Leonard Cohen and now thinks it is some of his best work. "Dear Heather" is another story . . .

- Devon is watching L.A. Story and feeling sorry for himself. Wah!

- Devon is feeling far too cliche.

- Devon is a little upset that awesome things seem to happen all at once. Adult Soap Box Derby, Tour De Fat AND Supertrash Movie Festival on one day . . . Really?

- Devon is heading to the ADULT SOAP BOX DERBY, . . . bitches!

- Devon has resigned to build 1 to 3 carts for next years Adult Soap Box Derby. Do you prefer "Popes Mobile", "Giant Mr.T Head" or "Death Star"?

- Devon sometimes looks in the mirror and sees Baron Munchausen, sometimes sees Don Quixote.

- Devon likes to think that he's immune to the stuff. Oh Yeah. But he's gonna have to face that he's addicted to love.

- Devon is trying to think up ridiculous activities that do not involve alcohol consumption in preparation for his upcoming visitor.

- Devon is trying to think up ridiculous activities that do not involve alcohol consumption in preparation for an impending visit from "The Gauntlet."

- Devon just wants to pay someone to let him sit in their wood burning sauna for half-an-hour. What is the use of a free market if he can't exchange money for services!

- Devon is going to have to settle for a steam sauna, like an ANIMAL!

- Devon is considering borrowing the $1500 for a personal wood burning sauna.

- Devon is amazed to find out that Zero Effect was filmed and set in Portland, OR.

- Devon is hoping that Brew will agree to a birthday showing of "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" at the Omnimax theater.

- Devon wants to put on his his his his his boogie shoes.

- Devon is going to sleep at 8am and contemplating "The Joker" as a Taoist philosopher, because life is what you make of it, and Devon makes life awesome.

- Devon will STEAL YOUR FACE!!

- Devon has acquired Brendan.

- Devon ain't misbehavin', he's savin' all his love . . . for you.

- Devon whole-heartedly believes that "Max Payne" is the greatest film noir video game that exists and ever will exist, and is willing to fight anyone who disagrees.

- Devon converses for tips only. Also, no kissing on the mouth.

- Devon says, "Tom Waits is patient zero for both the Rocking Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu."

- Devon will have time to sleep when he is dead, which will be in a few weeks at the rate he is going.

- Devon has used up all his fun. September shall have to be entirely work and self-flagellation.

- Devon probably should not be researching the evils of corporate banking directly before going to work.

- Devon says, "Don't fight the Power. Empower yourself."

- Devon says, "Don't fight the Power. Empower yourself and those around you."


09/08

- Devon is working on his "Go, go, go!"

- Devon spent some time today remembering why he got into this business.

- Devon is a little annoyed with the airtravel market.

- Devon simultaneously has a thousand regrets and absolutely none.

- Devon is seriously considering a White Lotus tattoo.

- Devon is going to go kick some tub ass.

- Devon feels that "Everything's comin' up Milhouse!" is one of the most expressive idioms to have cropped up over the last century and hopes its here for the long haul.

- Devon stayed up all night playing Spore until it made him physically ill.

- Devon says, "There's still alot of drinks that I ain't drunk, there's still some pretty thoughts that I ain't thunk. There's still alot of wine and lonely girls . . .

- Devon says, "I'm my only hope for a hero."

- Devon thinks that the only hope for the evolution of the species is for people to learn to stop confining themselves with labels and limitations.

- Devon wishes he could see Patrick Stewart in "The Ride Down Mt. Morgan" on Broadway again. What a weird thing to wish for.

- Devon realized, while walking home with his soggy underpants in one hand and a Rice Krispie Treat in the other, that he is in fact, a character in a Tom Robbins novel.

- Devon is going to "Holy Grail" at the Laurelhurst! Ni!

- Devon has a strange desire to become a cab driver.

- Devon wonders if you can effectively use "get back on the horse" symbolism if you were never on the horse to begin with. "Get on a horse!" just isn't as inspiring.

- Devon does know you, despite what the whiskey may make you think.

- Devon is going on the war path again, apparently.

- Devon has remembered that the "War Path" won't get him anywhere, and is back to the "Logical and Reasonable Change" path.

- Devon realized that while he never had the "sex talk" with his parents, they did let him watch HBO's "Oz."

- Devon is attempting to attempt.

- Devon wonders how much of his day should be spent trying to beat the final board of Bionic Commando: Rearmed.

- Devon thinks that if we are going to nationalize housing, we may as well nationalize health care, power, and farming.

- Devon seems to like "the Fringe", even though he was trying very hard not to.

- Devon is considering.

- Devon is hungry for an adventure.

- Devon says, "CORNBREAD. Ain't NOTHING wrong with that!"

- Devon wishes that one of his more musically inclined friends would remix Lou Reed's "Street Hassle."

- Devon has apparently decided to go flip-mode for a while. They say it's the greetest.

- Devon is having a Vicodin breakfast.

- Devon wants the catonakeyboardinspace song to be his new ringtone.

- Devon performed a major hardware reconfiguration on his computer without any serious setbacks, delays, problems or crying. Must mean we are nearing the End of Days.


10/08

- Devon is relatively certain that the Foo Fighters song "My Hero" is about him.

- Devon has tossed the Cap of Liberation into the ring: http://ignite-proposals.pragmaticraft.com/pro posals/131.

- Devon wishes he had time to unplug for a while. How humorous.

- Devon clearly hasn't had enough robot.

- Devon smells of whiskey, cigarette smoke and fried chicken, has recently been punched in the eye, and is hardcore in love with Life.

- Devon is going to go see Ghostbusters at the Bagdad, because life is awesome!

- Devon hears the call of Dorkiness beckoning him.

- Devon is already excited about "Army of Darkness" next month.

- Devon says, "A rock opera about unecessary surgery staring Anthony Stewart Head, 'Repo: The Genetic Opera' you have won my price of admission fair and square."

- Devon is going to rez a piece of black ice so nasty that you'll wish you'd have jacked out before even dreaming of accessing that node, sucka!

- Devon is beginning to accept that no vocation has ever (and probably will ever) call to him as loudly as writing.

- Devon 's brain is like a delicious stew.

- Devon thinks his little sister is absolutely right, "The grass is always greener after you've watered the lawn."

- Devon is going to assume that he is responsible for the return of the handlebar mustache.

- Devon is . . . an uncle!

- Devon is starting the day by being annoyed about his video card issue.

- Devon has decided that "U Don't Dance To Techno Anymore" by the Alabama 3 is his new favorite Country/Western song.

- Devon has decided that "U Don't Dance To Techno Anymore" by the Alabama 3 is his new favorite Country/Western song.

- Devon did not make the appropriate offering of Hot Pockets and Mountain Dew to the computer gods and has paid with his first born hard drive.

- Devon could stand to chill, the fuck, out.

- Devon doesn't trust the Gorton's Fisherman anymore . . . not after what he did to that little girl.

- Devon is Joe The Resurfacer.

- Devon may just have a man-crush on NPH.

- Devon says, "With my Freeze Ray I will stop . . . the world."

- Devon is saddened that there has never been (to his knowledge) a super villain called Thomas Deatherson or Lady DIE!

- Devon believes that drinkin' + barbeque + drinkin' + hot tub + video games = A happy Devon.

- Devon is taking the day off.

- Devon feels very lost.

- Devon is pretty sure that watching a day's worth of Doctor Who is the dork equivalent of drinking until you vomit in someone's flowerbed.

- Devon is very, very angry but in a mellow sort of way.

- Devon is what happens when your powers combine.

- Devon wonders: if home is where the heart is, and Tony Bennett left his heart in San Francisco, does that mean he pays taxes in California?

- Devon now has more hard drive space than he can reasonably use. He shall have to use it unreasonably then.

- Devon has the Party Itch and Baby, you'd better scratch it.

- Devon is actually impressed at how thoroughly and completely "Max Payne: The Movie" failed to convey the drama and human emotion present in a VIDEO GAME MADE IN 2001!

- Devon is sad that he won't be making it to Zombie Walk tomorrow.

- Devon really wants a soda. Like for serious.

- Devon is feeling kinda nostalgic for the 90's, when he was angry about everything and didn't have to worry about his 401k losing value or compound interest.

- Devon 's normal sleep schedule is about to suffer from some fallout . . . 3.

- Devon thinks that Ron Perlman should narrate everything, or at least everything that Morgan Freeman is unavailable for.

- Devon doesn't want to set the World . . . on . . . fire . .

- Devon fucking loves a good Venn Diagram joke.

- Devon is struggling to get himself into party mode. Another sign he is getting old.


11/08

- Devon must warn you that this doll carries with it an evil curse. But it comes with a free Frogurt. The Frogurt is also cursed. But it comes with a free topping . .

- Devon doesn't know which person he is more impressed with today, woman who got mugged and then hit by a car or guy who let a hooker steal his card and PIN.

- Devon would have written in Al Gore if he wasn't certain that some degree of election fraud was going to be occurring in the near future.

- Devon is pretty tired.

- Devon is wearing new shoes, new shoo-oo-ooo-ooooes.

- Devon is goin' down to Tejas to marry up some folks.

- Devon is back from Tejas after marryin' up some folk.

- Devon has now officially read "Watchmen" and still holds the opinion that "The Invisibles" is the best comic book he's ever read.

- Devon is really, really tired.

- Devon has purchased new underpants. Feel free to rejoice.

- Devon comes off as being a pretentious asshole in job applications because he is a pretentious asshole.

- Devon comes off as being an elitist asshole in job applications because the Small Brains just don't understand his GENIUS!

- Devon just keeps hitting that darn rimshot button.

- Devon likes to think he has some idea of when to hold 'em and some idea of when to fold 'em.

- Devon says, "We the American Working Population hate the fact that eight hours a day is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn't us . . ."

- Devon believes the time for food is nigh!

- Devon just installed some weather stripping on his garage door. FUCKING HELL-YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS!!

- Devon is glad that his bigoted stomach is finally starting to learn to tolerate lactose. Proof that "dietary busing" works.

- Devon has utterly failed to get any work done this morning.

- Devon is disappointed in Prince.

- Devon is disappointed in the organization of SantaCon this year, and yes, he does realize the irony of that.

- Devon loves his real (fake) job and hates his fake (real) job.

- Devon is going over to Tel Orleans for a little solo hot tub action.

- Devon has finished drinking beer and sitting in the hot tub, and shall now get some sleep. His life is so hard some times.

- Devon is actually shocked that there are 30 states where an individual can be fired simply for being gay.

- Devon wants to know why he can't find a Zeb-Roller 2000 to save his life. http://jonlandrum.wordpress.com/2006/08/05/th e-zebra-zeb-roller-2000-rollerball-pen/.

- Devon is perhaps overly bummed about his favorite pen being discontinued. He has less than enthusiastic expectations for its replacement, the "GR8 Roller."

- Devon has this new thing where drinking beer makes his tummy hurt. He is not amused. Hopefully it was just the Pabst.

- Devon is (in complete opposition to his normal mindset) considering an impulse tattoo. $20 is just too cheap.

- Devon has grasped that today's (not so) hidden message is "Evolve or die!". Question is, how best to proceed?

- Devon is having one of those nights where he misses all the little things that most people take for granted.

- Devon is in the mood for some kind of big, important event to look forward to.

- Devon hopes his pony, he hopes his pony, he hopes his pony knows the way back home.

- Devon is disgusted by humanity. Yes, that means you too. http://wcbstv.com/local/walmart.worker.trampl ed.2.875747.html.


12/08

- Devon is home again, home again, jiggity jig.

- Devon wants to write "Waiting for Godot 2: The Return."

- Devon is back to craving something big and important to look forward to (something to which he can look forward).

- Devon is shining on, you crazy diamond.

- Devon is having one of those days where every action is amazing, adrift in a sea of infinite potentiality.

- Devon is downloading six seasons of Perfect Strangers.

- Devon wishes he could start every day like yesterday, with a hang over that makes you feel BETTER than normal, an episode of Doctor Who and a mid-drive epiphany.

- Devon has "emancipated" Paradise Falls with Abraham Lincoln's Repeating Rifle, just like Abe would have done (if he had had Power Armor).

- Devon teared up a little at the end of Fallout 3, thus answering the long standing question "has a video game ever made you cry?"

- Devon is not really in the SantaCon spirit today.

- Devon is slowly but surely getting into the SantaCon spirit.

- Devon now officially has the SantaCon spirit thanks to Andrew W.K. and the promise of gin (the Christmas Liquor).

- Devon had such a good time at "fake" SantaCon that he almost doesn't want to go to "real" SantaCon next week for fear it will ruin the magic.

- Devon must be feeling "sassy" today.

- Devon doesn't have time for this shit . . . and yet, here we are.

- Devon is heading down to the Pub At The End of the Universe to talk with Brandon about manly things, like shaving and not expressing emotions.

- Devon is giving birth to "Enlightened Functionalism", one awkward piece at a time.

- Devon is offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two . . .

- Devon loves you, always has.

- Devon has got a ticket for the fast train to Delicious Town.

- Devon is total crap at picking restaurants.

- Devon has no (god damn) idea how he has lived his life without Cookin' With Coolio so far.

- Devon says, "If SantaCon is like Double Christmas, than I get five Christmases to the average person's one. Suck math, normies!"

- Devon is not happy when there is a day that should be a snow day, but isn't.

- Devon feels that Portland's complete and utter inability to effectively deal with even a small amount of snow is no longer cute and is, in fact, quite irksome.

- Devon is tired of this snow crap and just wants to get back to the gray and soggy Portland winter that he knows and begrudgingly accepts.

- Devon feels guilty about not writing as much as he should, which is funny considering all the other things he probably should be feeling guilty about but isn't.

- Devon is pretty sure that this toothe ache/ear ache combo that is roaming around the left side of his head is actually being caused by his lower back.

- Devon is tired of snow, tired of face pain, and tired of work.

- Devon thinks that the Fallout 3 mod forums are not the place for a discussion of morality, particularly an extremely poorly thought out discussion of morality.

- Devon loves to shower!

- Devon is trying to dream- and not make dreams his master, and think- yet not make thoughts his aim . . .

- Devon curses at the snow, hoping that spite can change the weather.

- Devon has decided that he shall only tell jokes in a mock German accent from now on.

- Devon is vastly more excited about the idea of more Doctor Who on Dec 25 than he is about some rinky dink holiday. Which is this one again? St. Swivens Day?

- Devon has a snow day! Now he loves snow! HUZZAH SNOW! HUZZAH!

- Devon only seems to get the Christmas spirit after the 20th.

- Devon likes to think he's made a few people happy over the years.

- Devon is contemplating calling in sick today and thereby having a two day work week.

- Devon put cream cheese on his latkes instead of sour cream. Why? Because he's crazy like that. Maybe next time he'll have them with bacon . . . or shellfish.

- Devon looks almost as good in red as he does in blue, and DAMN does he look good in blue.

- Devon can eat his dinner in a fancy restaurant . . . but nothing (I said nothing) can take away these blues.

- Devon says, "You there, boy! What day is today?"

- Devon is spending the day drinkin' and watchin' TV with Mandingo and Keene-Machine.

- Devon is sick, frowny face emoticon.

- Devon needs a root canal . . . hooray!

- Devon thinks it is cute that his dad sent him a picture from a Gogol Bordello concert using his iPhone.

- Devon is perched upon a precipice, 'tween all that was and all could be. Let sleep the ghosts of yesterday, we've many days ahead to see.


01/09

- Devon is going to call the customer service lines of random companies and complain until somebody makes sure that we will have no more snow this year.

- Devon deserves some sushi for scheduling his root canal. Obviously he feels fit to balance his own karmic scales, without leaving it up to the Universe.

- Devon is wondering if the possibility of a "super volcano" is enough to warrant blowing his hard earned money at a local gentleman's establishment.

- Devon feels roundly and thoroughly disgusted with himself. He must have had a great time last night.

- Devon loves 2009 and doesn't care who knows it.

- Devon does not like the look of the new Doctor.

- Devon had some weird, weird dreams.

- Devon has finally accepted that what he has always wanted to be when he grows up is a circa 1890's New York singing and dancing newsboy labor organizer.

- Devon has decided to crazy up his life a little bit, right after he gets this expensive dental procedure out of the way.

- Devon is perpetually proud of his little sister.

- Devon feels like it's raining all over the world.

- Devon just had the most awesome root canal ever and is, for some reason, in the mood for romance.

- Devon spent his day on someone elses couch talking philosophy and random trivia with friends, re-watching Avatar, eating delicious food and NOT thinking about work.

- Devon thinks "Cold Weather Till Saturday" is the best graffiti he has ever seen.

- Devon is overcome by a desire to see old friends. Anybody want to fly up to Portland on a whim?

- Devon spent his grocery money on booze and his booze money on groceries.

- Devon is writing a song all about you. A true song, as real as his tears.

- Devon is cabbages and kings.

- Devon is actually quite excited about "The Vernacular Project."

- Devon hopes John Prine is doing well.

- Devon 's tooth has been crowned. Previously his mouth had maintained an anarcho-communal co-op but there was a power struggle after recent tensions broke out.

- Devon would like nVidia to explain the usefulness of a graphics card that doesn't work well with 3D apps. "This toaster works great, except with bread products."

- Devon wants to remind you to try to be nice to your 6,754,915,055 brothers and sisters today.

- Devon is a secret Muslim, crypto-Jew and an athiest in a foxhole.

- Devon may just up and quit today if he has another day like yesterday.

- Devon spent some time working on "Lullabies for Lonely Old Men" today.

- Devon thinks today might actually be alright.

- Devon is thoroughly impressed with the way today turned out. That last bit may have pushed it into "Double Milhouse" status.

- Devon supports humans and their progressions.

- Devon is pretty sure he has deleted all of the Bjork from his computer more than once, yet she keeps coming up on iTunes. Is this some kind of weird computer virus?

- Devon wants to punch a dolphin, right in its stupid dolphin face.

- Devon is not gonna lay no boogie-woogie on the King of Rock & Roll.

- Devon is going to try to put this little depressive cycle to good use and bang out some kind of writing.

- Devon has moved a large thing through the powerful and sexy combination of brilliance and sheer physical might. Also, Kim helped.

- Devon drinks at cooler places than you do.

- Devon has made ten thousand mistakes and will make ten thousand more before flights-o-angels sing him to his rest.

- Devon is gonna go grab a schvitz and a bagel.

- Devon is pretty sure he expressed his wishes, vis-a-vis this whole "more snow" issue after the last incident. Looks like SOMEBODY needs to be taught a lesson.

- Devon does not have your best interests at heart. However, he does have your most amusing interests at heart.

- Devon always seems to get caught in the space between "knowing the path" and "walking the path."

- Devon misses playing with Lego.

- Devon is kinda ridiculous.

- Devon just needs to make it through today, then all will be good.

- Devon has made it through today, all is good.

- Devon is going to spend his friday afternoon with Chandler, Brewster and a bottle of Burnetts gin.

- Devon spent his friday afternoon with Chandler, Brewster and a bottle of Burnetts gin. He then spent his Friday evening, Friday night, and Saturday morning with them.

- Devon is probably more excited than he should be about Afro Samurai: Resurrection.

- Devon is, in fact, ready for some football, exclamation point.


02/09

- Devon is overjoyed that President Obama helped the Steelers defeat the Cardinals' plot to clone Adolf Hitler.

- Devon is not sure what today will bring.

- Devon likes his new job so much more than his old job that he almost doesn't believe it is with the same company.

- Devon has every intention.

- Devon has the name "Charles Linder-Flowman" stuck in his head, and he has no idea who that is.

- Devon is going to drink some alcohol on a Friday night. How novel.

- Devon is banking on the assumption that when his time is up he won't say, "I wish I had had less fun."

- Devon did not awesome hard enough today. Stupid Sundays!

- Devon now regrets not proposing to that spunky redhead he met on the way home Saturday night.

- Devon must remember to tip the seraphim.

- Devon is thinking about the amazing-iosity of human emotions.

- Devon feels like an angel baby, swadled in a cocoon of cloud candy.

- Devon is three notches lower than "jazzed."

- Devon only has one day off this weekend and must decide if he wants to cram two days worth of awesome into one day, or save it until next weekend.

- Devon is pretty sure the cut on his hand is from punching the giant Jenga tower.

- Devon don't have to ask permission if he wants to go out fishin', and he never has to ask for the keys.

- Devon is defined by Websters as a psychosomatic disorder whose intensity is directly related to the volume of the horn section.

- Devon is going to drink some afternoon wine with Corey and then hit Ignite Portland 5.

- Devon is angry and lonely and drunk and inspired. What shall come of this?

- Devon is happy and content and hungover and still inspired. What will come of THIS?

- Devon took a moment to very seriously consider spending the $1,489.00 for an orchestra seat for Leonard Cohen live in Seattle.

- Devon would like to see an album of Michael Hogan sings Tom Waits songs released.

- Devon made the electrolyte, to take us out of the dark.

- Devon is in a very Paul Simon mood.

- Devon is vexed by the fickle ways of Woman. Or perhaps, to avoid unnecessary generalization, the ways of a fickle woman.

- Devon has once more stumbled through Depressive and made his way back to Manic. HUZZAH!

- Devon is powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball.

- Devon ain't no fool for love songs that whisper in his ear; still crazy after all these years.

- Devon only seems to miss New York while he is listening to WFUV.

- Devon , aka DJ Ampersand, aka The Tight-Mic-Trigger, aka Freaky Tiki, aka Flip-Mode Millionaire.

- Devon is in a perpetual state of ravelling and unravelling. His spirit animal is the yo-yo.

- Devon grows tired of his Winter beard and longs for the goatee of Spring.

- Devon has got the clouds, but not the sky. He's got the stripes, but not the tie.



That takes us up through today. I will update it again later to get the whole year.